EpidemiK Online

Dreams put on hold due to the funds to finish out something that I started that I wanted. So as I fade back to black becoming scarce again. Just focusing on getting this money by any means necessary. I won't know what sleep is no more. Won't know what a social life is anymore. Just me getting this paper to afford to live through this recession without landing behind bars. So now its time to tap into my resources to get things together. I feel somethings are going to be said that's going to end up causing rifts. I am at a point to where I am going to explode and its not safe for anyone. I'm up against the wall, and I'm fighting my way off it. Could I be unstable at this point? I doubt it because if so then I will never make it through this. Aint no one to blame but myself when it all comes to it. Politics as uaual with all this and this recession. They make it hard, to make it seem like we have to resort to something else. Makes me think about all that's going on and all the things that happened that contributed to the situation I am in. It really pisses me off...you are really in this world all by yourself.

That was a thought, yes a though last week. It wasn't a cry for help. It was just a taste of reality. I don't want hand outs, but if you need some graphics I can be the one you call to get some hot stuff done, but it comes at a price. Don't expect me to go easy cause I got to live too.

I amaze myself with the things that I do, but now what is it the skills that I have if I cannot get anywhere with them well not that I can't but if people do not know I have the skills. Well that Is going to change I find light to keep me moving, I am the undying soul that pulls back on a thread of string. I am a fighter, one that goes strong. I remember back at westinghouse I said I will not stop til I can't breathe. there is no rest unless I get what is needed to be done done.

So be on the look out for team epidemk. Yes its coming soon, and I think i am going to change up my blog layout soon. anyway so here is what I meant to post today...

Ok so today was eh. Didn't accomplish anything I set out to do. Was set back due to a memory lapse. I just wonder does it make a person made or makes them even more upset when it doesn't get to the person that made the mistake. When the person understands what was done? Eh I remain calm I guess, and just chill and be patient. I was taught in school to listen to a persons thought then make you points. Sometimes I just don't feel like waiting. Guess its just the aggressor in me, or the feeling that no one cared about my thoughts or what I have to say. Then it can be from being cut off from not being to express myself. Then it becomes no you are going to listen to what I have to say. I am tired of just not getting my point across. None of that going on around here. Now it feels different when the tables turn....

Anyway as I went across the manhattan bridge today anything by jay came on. Track is hot, in my opinion it goes hard. Yeah but I don't think that's the point anyway just random thoughts.

Anyway quote to speak on today or saying more or less, "who are you for me to kiss your ass." One thing I have learn from going to westinghouse is that no one is irreplaceable. Meaning you do a good job for me but if you messing up after a while I will kick you to the curb. Also know your position ya dig. For all you trying to read into this as it being to someone stop reading too hard. Take a break from your star bucks moment; trying to be all intelligence trying to make sense out of nothing. I mention names or I write in a way that the person knows. Don't expect your name to be in my mouth for your gain. Ahh today I am not staying on task. My mind is just all webbed up. I am lost in the moment as I write this blog. The music banging my ear drums to inspire and change my mood. One thing I notice is the type of music I listen to depending on the mood. The emotion tends to always match up with how I feel at the time. Music a significant part to my way of life. I think I shall invest in a book to write em in.

So moving on from that what else is on my mind? Ms fat booty, another track. Its funny how a female and just use a dude. I've been victim to it, so have no doubts just let time take its course and I don't get caught off guard. I kind of move differently, smarter. I don't waste time know when to make an exit and know when to stick around. Remember you actions speak louder than words. I doubt anyone is that naive to see things going, well I know I am not. It would be stupid to think that it's not noticeable. My kindness is not weakness it just mask my meanest as I trap you with honey. Now I just gave you a piece of me. So you can go on and say hello to the bad guy. That's why I am so cool as a fan. I put you through so many test but you would never know. I don't really get mad but I can yell and get my point across and put it in a way to make you feel bad. They say knowledge is power but they forgot to say that knowledge of logos is power. What is logos? Go google it..or pay me something then I got you. Ahh lost my train of thought.